Some time ago (years) I was asked. “Why do you drive a truck?”

My reply was “There’s no money in Beaver trapping any more and they haven’t worked the kinks out of asteroid mining”.

Needless to say that reply didn’t elucidate a reasoned response. Actually it confused.

Was true though. And I’m not the only one.

I used to say that “Trucking was for the Social misfits” I quit saying that because folks got all upset. I think it’s true though (not excluding myself). Trucking is an odd life. It attracts odd folks. It’s certainly not because of the money.

In my decade and a half of trucking I’ve met some strange ducks.

Like…

The Hound Lady.

Afghan Hound.

Waaaay back when I was a company driver …..I met her. She carried an Afghan Hound in her truck.

She had some weird notions. Among which she stated that Afghans had Leopard genes. (I didn’t comment) She claimed that trucking was just a “taxi service” for her. She claimed that her real income was from Stud Fee’s for her hound. She said that she used the truck to take her from place to place “standing her dawg at stud”.

Faaaaar be it for me to disagree.

Other interesting things that she did:

The way I met her was that we both had a load going to the same warehouse. Naturally it was “driver assist” unload (driver does all the work…some warehouse guy uses a pencil and a clipboard recording what comes off the truck). She claimed that she wouldn’t have to unload.

“How ?” I asked.

“Just wait” she said.

Well ,….we got there. Backed into the docks….and I went around to see what was up. Sure enough I was supposed to unload.

“Where’s the other driver” the dock foreman asked.

About that time she appeared.

Wearing next to nothing. High heels, a very, very, VERY short skirt. (the word “mini” just didn’t seem to do it justice” ) and a midrift T-shirt.

Havoc ensued. It was NOT a happy day on the dock. (I’ll leave it to your imagination )

The dock foreman was NOT a happy camper. He told her forthwith to vacate his dock. He’d see to it that her truck was unloaded. She smiled and left.

I unloaded my truck…..not smiling.

HipShot and Mack.

I met them at a truck stop near Salt Lake.

HipShot was about seventy five years old at the time. He’d be maybe ninety now? He got his name cause he could unlimber a hogleg pretty quick and was accurate. He used to be an armored car guard.

Mack was an English Bulldog. Hipshot had Mack in the truck with him. His companion.

Only problem was old slobber-jaws liked french poodles. Really, really , REALLY liked them. (think rape). He wasn’t discriminative though….(male, female….all the same to him). Hipshot said that it got really “interesting” sometimes when he was out walking Mack and some lady was walking her poodle.

And Others…

…. the extremely religious guy who tried to convert me. While driving ..over the CB ..in a snowstorm….in Utah.

And the guy who carried a snake in his truck.

And the guy…and his wife….who had six dogs…..in their truck.

And the truck driver who was out walking (swear to god) his pig.

And the family….(husband, wife and several kids) who LIVE in their truck.

And the occasional airline pilot, psychologist, accountant or security’s analyst.

And the mechanical engineer…..and the nuclear power plant engineer.

And my buddy…who used to be a PowerLifter and weighs maybe four-hundred pounds (if he’s lost some weight) ….who walks his cat….”socks”….on a leash.

And then there are the dozens (hundreds maybe?) of Navy Seals, Green Berets, Snipers and Force Recon that I’ve met. I didn’t have the vaguest idea that so many of them got out of the service and took up trucking. Apparently they did. By my reckoning about three hundred percent of the Seals are now truck drivers…..maybe more.

All driving trucks…..who would have thunk it?

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