Long Distance Relationships
Posted on Mar 31, 2009 - 6:50am by Buck Black in Health
This is my first post at Life on the Road and I’m excited about becoming part of the community! I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who does therapy at my private practice in Lafayette, IN and online at Trucker Therapy. I frequently work with truckers and hope to be able to provide some helpful thoughts and spur some discussion.
B
eing an over the road trucker automatically means that you are one who specializes in long distance relationships. Think about it… You are on the road for days, if not weeks on end and have very little contact with others. I think it is very important to acknowledge this and the difficulties that can follow. All too often, I see truckers who ignore the fact that most of their relationships are long distance ones. Ignoring this fact of life makes the typical feelings of a long distance relationship (emotional distance, feeling lonely, having those little miscommunications over the phone and email, and many more pesky problems) often leads to feelings of depression and isolation. The next time you might have this feeling, ask yourself where these feelings are coming from. There is a great chance that it stems from one of those long distance relationships.
Having a series of long distance relationships is not necessarily a bad thing. Obviously, many need to do this in order to make a living. I just want to stress the importance of acknowledging this and then taking this into consideration the next time you have feelings of isolation, loneliness, and so on. At least for myself, if I know why I am feeling a certain way, I can handle it much better.
Here are some ideas on how one can handle these long distance relationships and feel as fulfilled as possible:
• When discussing serious subjects, especially with your partner, use phone (or webcam, if possible) in order to help with accurate communication. Your tone of voice can often make a world’s difference in regards to working problems out or causing new ones!
• Be sure to make your calls when you still have good energy. If you call at the end of your day, this can really hurt enthusiasm and attention.
• Keep as much of a mix of email, phone, and old fashioned letters as possible. Everyone is used to getting calls and emails. Postcards are those neat little things that most people enjoy and are not expecting.
• Send a small and inexpensive gift to your loved one—again, this can mix things up a bit and be fun for both parties involved.
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Great first post Buck and welcome. From my own friends my beliefs are that if anything – technology has made it a whole lot more easy for us not to get lost in isolated-highway-land. I like suggestion 2 as well – as I’ve learned the hard way that calling before I’m about to go to sleep can have it’s own consequences.
This is a much needed subject, and I agree there is little things that can be done that will help the relationships.
One more tip that will be of help that I hear often from other wives. And that is not to use the phone as a weapon. If there is a disagreement one or the other person will hang up and then not take the call for a period of time sometimes days. Which then leaves the other person feeling left out and unloved.
Also as a wife of a driver, I will not call if the driver is doing something that needs attention. So it is handy and I have been able to to do, is have the driver let the loved one that they are busy and will call when they can.
Thanks for all the comments!
I agree with Kathy that the phone should not be used as a weapon!! I have seen this many times in long distance relationships of all sorts.