Life on the Road – Trucking News Blog

I didn’t go out of my way to look for this “show.” My wife recorded “Band of Brothers” on the History Channel and a couple of episodes of “Ice Road” were at the end of the tape. I had watched the “show” in its first season and my impression now is the same as it is was back then. That being: “how silly.”

In this season #3 episode, we have “hot” professional driver Lisa Kelly. From the History Channel website: “Lisa is a rambunctious tomboy and a motocross-riding daredevil who is as full of energy as she is cute. Lisa has crashed both trucks and motorcycles, but she doesn’t let fear get in her way on the road. She must battle the big boys daily just to keep her job.” Ooooo! Is this for real? Apparently so, as “cute” Lisa with her skin-tight jeans and heavily applied black eyeliner makes her way across the “treacherous” ice. Her “handle” should be “raccoon.” I’m sure the producers will get her down to her undies next season to boost ratings, which, by the way are up 16% this season. And I’m sure a “spread” in Playboy for Ms. Kelly is right around the “icy” corner.

And there’s Jack Jesse, who, according to the Ice Road Truckers web site, is “a character straight out of an old western. Jack has little patience for co-workers who don’t pull their own weight.” Oh-kay. And, Hugh Rowland, “Hugh can drive all night, work all day and still have time to spout lots of opinions about those who fall short of his work ethic.”  Alex, Cody, George, Carey and Tim round out this cast of characters, all of whom share in their careless use of the English language by not pluralizing “mile.”

Also, in this episode, Jack takes a poorly balanced overweight oversized load of long pipe right into the weigh station, gets fined and has to return to the terminal in town. All I could think was – what a moron. Mr. Experience didn’t know how to get his load right before he started driving to the job site? Did you see that Everitt? The carrier he represents is apparently too cheap to have an axle scale at their terminal. Poor Jack has nobody to blame but himself for the screw up. What amazing television!

Then we have two ice road trucker wannabies, I believe from Canada. We see them having to pee into cups for the drug test and then take a road test with a typical anal retentive safety guy, who because he knows he’s on camera has to come up with something intelligent to say to both men: “All I see is you need to look at your mirrors more often.” Wow, amazing insight! He then “passes” both men and goes back inside his office to eat some more cheeseburgers and fries. Just watching all this “orientation” stuff gives me agita.

So we have these “typical” trucker characters – all a credit to our industry – running the 300-500 or so miles – 16 hours of straight driving – with loads of drilling equipment being “transported” over icy roads up and down steep hills during the day and night in “good” weather and blinding snow storms. Why? To get about 2000 loads up North to where, in Alaska, they’re drilling for oil before all this ice melts. One has to speculate that with the billions the oil companies are making they couldn’t design and build an easier and much safer way to get their material delivered. Noooo, because there wouldn’t be a show. No one wants to watch “average” truckers do their jobs – it just ain’t sexy – like these fools on ice.

This whole concept is idiotic – except for cute Lisa – I just love the way she jumps down from her cab to put on her tire chains – whew! Now that’s sexy! I know the crowd in the TV rooms at the FJ – the one’s who drive for Swift and England who can’t afford TV’s in their trucks – love this stuff – along with professional wrestling and the Simpson’s. One of the shows advertisers is the ED (erectile dysfunction) “cure” folks. I can’t imagine why. But, bottom line, as I did after watching season #1 – I’ll have to pass. I need a break after 11 hours a day of dealing with my own set of problems and the nuts on the not-so-icy roads – not watching more purposely unsafe nonsensical TV that gives me nightmares.

Photo credits: http://www.ice-road-truckers.com/general/how-to-get-an-ice-road-trucking-job/, www.tvtrendblog.com/tag/ice-road-trucker/, talented photographer Sebastian-Lew… flickr.com – “Men In Irish Pub”, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_Road_Truckers – the “Ice Road Trucker” website can be found at: http://www.history.com/content/iceroadtruckers-season-three/meet-the-truckers/jack