Life on the Road – Trucking News Blog

I took this photo at 11,312 feet stopping for a spell atop Monarch Pass between Salida and Gunnison – Colorado. I had a pick-up of 48K lbs. of tarped lumber over in Montrose headed to Ft. Worth.

And yes, despite my years of experience driving a truck, by the time I got to the bottom my brakes were smok’n big time. The night before it was snowing heavily on the Pass and chains were required. Since I don’t do the whole chain thing – my company forbids it – I found a nice cozy spot, shut down, opened a can of chili, put in a tape of NCIS and waited till morning, when all was clear. My first “snow” of the season.

Tonight, I’m parked outside the lumber company in Ft. Worth and earlier in the day it was 95 degrees. 900 mile trip, but even though the scenery was beautiful, with this smaller Detroit engine, I really had to work too hard driving. My old 500 hp CAT made a big difference. The fake jake in my new used Freightliner did little good with that 48K lbs. down those 7% grades. You know the expression: “like a lead ballon?” Well, that’s just how I felt. I could of used one of those pop out parachutes they deploy to slow down those funny cars in drag racing. All in all, I’ve got to admit the 1 1/2 day trip made me tired and stressed the hell out of me.

Now how is this for a segue? I’m continuing my search of good “entertainment” on XM/Sirius satellite. With what I just told you about the stressful drive, I don’t need anything else to annoy me. In an  earlier post, I mentioned that I ordered the upgrade package. Yes, it’s good to have Stern back. I told you about the Derek and Romaine Show on Out Q and I did enjoy Bill O’Reilly last night. But as we all know – OTR truck drivers that is – that it gets very lonely, at times, being on the road. For men, you miss hearing female voices. Women drivers might be so sick of men altogether that they might not care to hear male voices preferring to listen to other females talk. Whatever, the last couple of days, to pass the long hours on the dark roads from Colorado to New Mexico on into Texas via US287, I tuned in to the Cosmo channel. That’s Cosmo as in Cosmopolitan Magazine. Do any of you folks remember Helen Gurley Brown? She was their first editor back when the magazine started in 1886. Just kidding!

So, did you know that in a recent survey many folks would prefer to go without sex for a year rather than give up their cell phones? Funny isn’t it? Did you guys know that women consider us men dogs to be trained? Pieces of lumber meant to be worn down to nubs, so they – woemen – can do what they want with us? And that most men die miserable? Well this is the kind of informative (LOL) educational (LOL) information you’re going to get listening to Cosmo. Why, do you know what a diffuser is? Would it shock you that men don’t care about their roots – that’s hair not what part of the world your relatives are from. Guys, when is the last time you went into your barber and asked for a curly cut? Hopefully never. Hey, if you men truckers want to learn more about women – how they think, what they want from us, etc. – spend some time on the Cosmo channel, which is on both Sirius and XM.

All the shows offer a driver a good diversion from everything that “we” have to deal with during the day. There is one talk – advice show on Cosmo that is hosted by a man. It’s called Cocktails with Patrick. Believe me, you’ll enjoy it more than listening to Glen Beck or Lou Dobbs. You know what the news is anyway, so why bother with CNN or FOX? Certainly, if you’re tired of the childish nonsense on Stern – the first 90 minutes of his show is the only part that is worthwhile – and you like to hear the sound of young females talk about us – then hang out at on Cosmo. You can always go back over to NASCAR to hear whether Tony Stewart or Jeff Gordon won the race. You can easily get all worked up again and tune in Sean Hannity. And for certain only the drivers that are close to retirement or are retired sitting in their double wides – having nothing better to do – listen to Road Dog – that truly horrible “trucking” channel. Hey did you catch Evan Lockridge’s Facebook page? Who cares? Nobody. What a gig that guy has, but that’s for another post.

I like to listen to new and fresh stuff. And I like to hear women talk. Especially when it’s not about when my appointment time is or for my load number. As a “dude”, I find women fascinating. God outdid himself when he created women. Not being in a typical work setting  – i.e. an “real” office – the only women I encounter are waitresses, truck stop or Wal-Mart cashiers, lot lizards, the occasional almost always aloof  female trucker and the mean arrogant  sometimes clueless gals in shipping and receiving. So listening to the Cosmo “girls” talk about EVERYTHING other than trucking is just what I need.

The whole Cosmo thing is fun and different. And today, being on the road for 3 1/2 weeks, it was good to hear something not about politics, health care or the two useless war we’re still fighting. It’s not gay to be Cosmolicious, it’s perfectly acceptable for us to get in touch with our feminine sides – although I think listening to Cosmo to see how the other side does things – is quite macho.  I’m also picking up some pointers for my son. There is just no reason you can’t be a Cosmo guy, although it seems Cosmo “girls” refer to us men as “boys.” I thought women didn’t want to be called girls? I give up. I’m learning. Tomorrow morning, I just might have to put some “product” in my hair. You too can be, Cosmolicious! OMG!

The Cosmo XM website is: http://www.xmradio.com/onxm/channelpage.xmc?ch=162