Life on the Road – Trucking News Blog

Covering the broad spectrum of trucking news throughout the global world of commerce. That is our mission here at LOTR. No matter snow, sleet, rain, storm, tornadoes or leaking oil – we strive to bring you the whole story and nothing but the story. So it came to surprise to this reporter when he was charged with covering the latest men’s HOT fashion trends right off the Milan and Paris runways. Yes, LOTR readers, I know you’ve been clamoring to know just what is IN this season for “your” America’s truckers.

Now before we begin our review, let’s take a look at where “we” are now. To the left is not an OTR trucker, but he sure looks like one – right? Recently I was in a “sports eating” establishment here in town. On one of the 5 big screen TV’s a show called “America’s Got Talent” was on. There was a contestant who hailed from somewhere deep in the backwoods of Kentucky. He fantasized that he could be the next Kevin Skinner. That’s his photo here. Just who is Kevin Skinner?

He was last years “America’s Got Talent” winner. He’s a country singer. I don’t honestly know where he is now. This contestant though, thought – he – was another Skinner. He kinda – sorta – maybe looked a bit like Skinner, who is no Tom Cruise. But, unlike Skinner, this contestant had NO teeth, hardly any hair and his facial features were a mess. He looked as though he ate little and only really bad food, drank a lot and has smoked unfiltered cigarettes since he was a teenager, possibly earlier. Unfortunately, again unlike Skinner, he possessed NO talent. And from the moment he walked on stage he made a complete fool of himself. And sadly, everyone in the place yelled “he’s a trucker!.” And he was rapidly buzzed out of the competition. And sadly, he was in fact, a trucker.

But why does a OTR trucker have to look like a trucker? Why do “we” all have to look like we’re stuck in the 70′s? What ever happened to the uniform and a good haircut? Why sport a mullet when few people outside trucking wear their hair in that style? Do more tattoos make driving a truck easier? Why tattoo your neck or face or ankle? Doesn’t dressing like a cowboy – ie: just like Sheriff Woody in Toy Story – make you look like a child at Halloween? Does every piece including your underwear have to have a Harley logo on it? I despise men with long hair in or out of a ponytail. And having your eyebrow pierced is weird. And wearing pants low enough so that your boxers are showing is just plain stupid. Aren’t bra straps supposed to be tucked in your top so as not to be seen? You’ve heard of the muffin top, right? Well, if you’re overweight, try to make the best of it and buy the right sized jeans – please. Let’s not forget the tank top, which should be banned for truck drivers everywhere.

Disney last week modified their dress code. Men can now wear golf shirts that do not have to be tucked in. Women can wear tank tops and pantyhose are not longer mandatory with skirts. Walt must turning over in his grave. Next, wearing whatever you please will be be the norm and soon everybody will dress like truckers. This weekend, my wife and I were at a “dress-up” dinner. Many men wore suits and ties – the women high heels and lots of sparkly stuff. I felt like I was on another planet. I skipped the tie but wore my first pair of long pants in a million years. I thought the women looked nice, but the men looked like funeral home directors. Now I’m certainly not saying truckers should wear ties and sparkly things – well, they’re already wearing sparkly stuff  -but they can certainly clean up their act a whole bunch. One NJ trucker actually did wear a tie when he was inside his customer facilities.

But relax. The photos that I’ve inserted into this post are what the “fashionistas” think you should be wearing. What do you think? Walking into the Pilot to pay for your fuel dressed like Pee Wee Herman. What about the large sized “man’s” shoulder bag? You can schlep your laptop, logbook and your lunch.  The third photo actually looks like something a trucker would wear, except it would have to be the Wal-Mart version. And the outfit to the left – well, that’s a chain around the models neck and we all know truckers love chains. I’ve seen drivers who look like this in New York City and LA. Nobody seems to care about the bare chest thing on both coats, especially with our Latino brethern. NYC, LA and Miami – that’s where the really fashion conscience drivers drive or so they think. Chicagoans might not agree. But any of these “suggested” looks for the trendy guy on the road would certainly be better than the cowboy, biker, ex-con, ex-special forces look that drivers are now wearing, according to the “boys” in Paris and Milan.